Darkness seeps through the screens of the windows as the dim
light of the moon filters into the room, settling upon the thin sheet that
covers our bodies, exhausted and worn from a tireless afternoon. The melodic
hum of the generator vibrates the warm air and muffles the rhythm of the
beating drums that haunts the background of the night. Humid nights trail
sweltering days, but the subtle breeze offers us relief from the constant heat.
However, it provides little comfort for the pain that is festering inside my
heart.
On my left is Jony, and on my right is Peterson, the three
of us nestled into the contentment of one another’s company. Their soft giggles
radiate warmth, lingering above our heads, providing joy and security, and
alleviating the bitter truth that we can’t seem to erase from our minds
tonight. The days of being together grow few, but we refuse to let this
protruding reality ruin our time together. I sense Jony’s increasing fatigue as
his body slowly melts into the mattress, the tears of today’s anguish dried
upon his fragile face. I listen quietly to the harmony of their sweet voices
that bounce back and forth between one another, brothers who deeply and dearly
cherish their bond. And tonight, in this moment, I am thankful.
Peter reaches for my hand, interlocking our fingers, and I
can see that captivating smile that stretches across his face, the smile that
first captured my heart.
And, I am thankful.
As their soft mumbles slowly die, I am enamored by the
serenity of the twilight, at peace between two precious boys I so eminently
love. Peter squeezes my hand and the words fall from his mouth, “Please don’t
leave.” And almost on cue, Jony’s voice arises, pleading, “I don’t want you to
go. I want you to stay here with us.”
Oh, my heart. It shatters into a million pieces and I can
feel the emotion crawling up through my throat.
I don’t want to leave either are the only words that seem to escape me because words don’t seem
adequate. What else can I say? Because this is exactly where I want to be.
“Take us with you,” Jony proclaims. A moment of silence
follows in attempts of gathering myself. And just as I open my mouth to reply,
Peterson breaks the empty air,
“We love you.”
And simultaneously, I feel Peterson’s other free hand reach
for my right as Jony’s little fingers fill the empty gaps of my left.
I am thankful.
Every single day, I am thankful that Jesus filled and
continues to fill the void in my life. I am thankful that He continues to
stretch and mold and change my heart and its desires. I am thankful that I have
the ability and the opportunity to share His love with those that are desperate
to know Him. I am thankful He has placed so many children in my life that need
Him. For me, before I knew Peterson and
Jony, those statistics and numbers were so numbing, and meaningless, and
worthless. But when I met them, they became real and I could no longer blame my
ignorance. As our friendship continues to grow, I am continuously reminded of
the cry of the orphan, the voice of the voiceless, and the hope for the
children around the world that cannot be ignored.
David Platt, in Radical, shares, “…orphans are easier to
ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see
their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in
your arms. But once you do, everything changes.”
Every child deserves and needs to know the Father’s love. We
are His hands and feet. I am thankful He chooses us.
